There’s a pretty quick understanding that this is no ordinary professional relationship. Even with only meeting them for a brief coffee shop “interview”, maybe an hour or less, when they open the door to their homes for the first time, there is often the urge to hug them. We’ve only just met.
I miss my client’s couches because it seems like it’s easier for folks to cry more easily. Especially when we talk about pushing and crowning.
I ask for a tour of their bedroom and where the towels are in case I support them at home deciding to go to the hospital, if having a hospital birth. That’s a pretty darn personal first time guest tour.
I miss meeting their pets even though they still manage to make appearances on zoom. I miss seeing folk’s yards and gardens. I miss the occasional sweethearts that want to feed me. Or make me tea. I always accept because I know how much I love feeding people and making them tea. Why would I deprive someone of that joy?
Granted, as a Doula we aim high to have incredible people skills and I feel pretty ok about my zoom skills, making folks laugh and feel comfortable, as I would on their couch. But nonetheless...I still miss those couches. I miss the couches I ask if I can push closer together because they seem too far apart for the conversations we are about to have.
-Margaret Romano, Birth Doula